Tag: asexuality

fuckyeahasexual:

Asexual Awareness Week – 201 Info

There’s a lot of 101 images passed around this time of year while they are great they are very introductory, so I wanted to make a post about some common things you might see and be confused about or might not even see until you get in places that are safe for aces. 

Inclusionist VS Exclusionist

If you know what a gatekeeper is, you know what an exclusionist is. It’s basically “do I include you as LGBTQ+” or “do I exclude you as LGBTQ+” 91%+ of a-spec people considers themselves as LGBTQ and the majority of LGBTQ people agree. You can see a more detailed breakdown here.

A is for Asexual is widely used in an out of the community

95.4% of 1936 people total surveyed said say that A was for Asexual followed by aromantic and agender double or triple A usage. Only 13.9% said Ally.

Cisgender Het-romo Aces are less than 1% of the community 

Calling aces cishet is offensive to everyone.

REG stands for “Reactionist Exclusionary Gatekeeper" 

A term for anyone in the biggest community who excludes others in the wider community such as acephobes, biphobes, enbyphobes (anti-nonbinary), intersexists, panphobes, TERFS and TWERFS coined to point out the similarities in arguments.  

MOGAI and COGAP 

The first stands for Marginalized Orientations, Gender Alignment & Intersex and Centered Orientations, Gender Alignments & Perisex. They were coined by trans peeps looking for a term that could be future proof since LGBT is showing growing pains. As well as moving away from “Cishet” which was being using by cis queer people to harm others instead of it’s original intent.

Hi! I’m sorry for sending in an answer as an ask but I’d like to remain anon. For worried about conservative mom anon, do some research about Paul. Basically Paul can arguably be seen as a type of asexual because within Corinthians he talks about how he never been married, never had sexual desire/lust for anyone and that’s like the bomb diggity in his opinion. So, in short, you could talk to your mom about Paul and be like look see there’s no issue here because one of the disciples was like me.

Asexual Sex-Ed: Sexual Consent While Asexual

millenniumfae:

(For more asexual sex ed, check out my ‘asexual sex ed’ tag)

Asexual sex-ed has been too long in the making. Currently, there is no dependable source of asexual-based sex ed. And that’s a huge problem. 

So one of the things that we need to talk about is consent, and how it differs from allosexual consent. Risky sex is all too common amongst the lgbt+ community. And that includes aces.

This is vital information for everybody, not just aces. We all need to learn how to navigate sexuality safely, regardless of who we are, or who we’re doing the do with. Asexual consent is the kind of information that will save lives.

The Difference Between Asexual And Allosexual Consent:

When an allosexual person gives a ‘yes’, they’re saying yes in a particular language of desire. They’re saying ‘yes, I am attracted to you. Yes, I am driven to perform sexual acts to you. Yes, I actively desire to be sexual with you.’

And that kind of ‘yes’ does not exist in an asexual language. So when these two people say ‘yes’, they’re not consenting to the same thing. We’re not speaking the same language. They’re saying ‘yes’ to something we’ll never say ‘yes’ to.

When you’re not actually drawn to the other party, and you’re not interested in them sexually, then mutual sexual stimulation becomes something akin to a chore, or a favor. And that chore can so very easily become a stressor, and from there a danger. 

In your typical high-school infosketch on what sexual assault and rape is like, you’ll get person A forcing themselves upon person B, while person B is crying, ‘I don’t want this!’ And that’s how we’ve been taught to recognize assault.

Thing is, aces are kinda inherently gonna never ‘want this’.

Consenting to something you don’t empathize with is a lot harder than if you did. So if you did not consent to be seen through a sexual lens, then being treated as a sexual partner would be non-consensual. And if the way your partner views you is non-consensual, then the sex itself is also non-consensual.

Except with asexual consent. We need to learn how to break a few rules.

Keep reading

Linkspam: August 25th, 2017

asexualagendablog:

Every Friday, we will share links to news, blogs, and anything else we find interesting.  We can’t catch everything, so you are invited to self-promote in the comments!

Ace Blogging

Ace in the Hole wrote about four common scenarios that can occur after coming out as asexual. (content note: while this post is sfw, some other content on the blog may be nsfw)

Laina discusses three examples of sex-repulsed aces in fiction.

News & Outreach

Have A Gay Day is looking for speakers for an event in Dayton, Ohio during Asexual Awareness Week (22nd-28th October).

Kristina Gupta and Karli Jean Cernkowski have a new book chapter about using asexuality and compulsory sexuality as lenses for media analysis.

Calls for Participants/Submissions

The Asexual is now accepting submissions for vol. 3, for the theme of “Body: How do you or others understand your body; How does body-image intersect with asexuality; How are asexual/ace bodies perceived, etc.” The current deadline for Issue 3 is September 15, 2017.

The f-ace-ing silence zine is looking for submissions.

The Ace Experiences podcast is looking for interviewees.

Linkspam: August 25th, 2017

flamethrowing-hurdy-gurdy:

iwantthatbelstaffanditsoccupant:

letters-to-lgbt-kids:

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Asexual and pansexual look like opposites (attracted to no gender vs. attracted to every gender), so it may seem as if it’s very easy to tell that you’re one and not the other – but in reality, there are actually a lot of kids who are not sure which of those two fits better. 

If that’s your situation, please know that you’re not alone and you’re certainly not silly. There’s a very easy explanation why it’s so easily to be confused: 

It actually is not that different – it’s pretty similar. Both asexual and pansexual people feel the same about every gender. 

A lesbian girl, for example, feels very different about girls compared to how she feels about boys. But if you are asexual or pansexual, you have no such comparison. You can’t compare how you feel about girls to how you feel about boys: You feel a equal level of attraction to both. 

Your confusion is not stupidity: It really can be hard to know if you’re attracted to all or attracted to none! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

And then you have to figure out with each individual if it is friendship or romance. Fuck if I can tell the difference.

This is complicated. If you want to throw a queer label on it and quit stressing yourself out, that is fine 🙂

Sometimes all you know for sure us you aren’t straight.

I am asexual aromantic pansexual. Why? How? 

Because asexual and aromantic people can still have sexual and romantic relationships, and therefore we can also have sexual and romantic preferences.

And mine is: any gender.

However, please note: asexual people can have preferences and additional orientations. You can be lesbian and asexual, for example. That is up to you to know and define. Do not think that being asexual/aromantic means you have to be attracted to all genders equally.