randyraptor:

merrybitchmas91:

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

as someone that’s been in treatment for four and a half fucking years, this shit pisses me off. the list of stuff you said not to do doesn’t help you, specifically, but are incredibly legitimate ways to cope for other people. you shouldn’t make a list of things that don’t help you and say no one should do them. and don’t try and say your footnote means anything when you have a big, bolded, headline that says THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS. there’s ENOUGH misinformation about mental health going around and this contributes to it. the things you mentioned not working don’t work for everyone because you have to have a solid foundation of mindfulness when you do them. someone can do any of the things any of the lists you provided and not benefit from them if they aren’t doing them mindfully. and even then, i’ll admit they just don’t help everyone— which is okay!!

lemme explain some of it scientifically (to the best of my ability). your senses are directly connected to your brain. when you do certain relaxation techniques, they’re most often related to your senses. because of this, a lot of techniques end up being things that are visually, physically, or auditorially stimulating. the most effective techniques focus on your senses. those don’t help everyone but you can’t ignore the science behind it and flat out tell others not to even try them.

for example, drawing is visually stimulating. learning to notice every stroke, texture, inconsistency, and color can really help someone that gets overstimulated. the texture the crayon leaves on the paper, the way the liquid flows out of a pen, the way each individual pixel on a screen changes color, the consistency difference a pencil makes when you change pressure applied— these are all ways you can be mindful when drawing.

even more than that, it can be stimulating to your sense of hearing as well. the click a pen makes, the sound pencils make when you touch them to the paper. it’s all things to notice so your mind is distracted and being put to use.

i really love that you gave an alternative list of what helps you and might help other people. i just wish it wasn’t presented in a way that puts down other legitimate recommendations. there are a lot of impressionable minors on this site that will see your list of things not to do and will dismiss them as bad suggestions before even trying them.

TLDR; the list of things to do and the list of things NOT to do are both GOOD ways to cope!! don’t force your experience of ineffectiveness on other people

sidenote: masturbating when anxious/stressed may calm you down but it isn’t a solid way to cope. it associates sex with stress/anxiety and can lead to sexual problems when there isn’t stress/anxiety involved!!