The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

hanzoamore:

severalowls:

severalowls:

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be
domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures
that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are
delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but
every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

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Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy,
I used to feed it to my
clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because
it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens
car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and
play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your
kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

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I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

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Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed
life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they
actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live
healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

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Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…?
Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the
keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If
you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s
chemically made with preservatives.

hey quick question what the fuck

fatfreefiddlefaddle:

biohazerd:

emmersdrawberry:

supersoftly:

willesqueleto:

fini-mun:

theamazingsallyhogan:

siphersaysstuff:

jesus what was wrong with people

They suddenly had money, fridges, freezers, and access to a variety of foods – all things that hadn’t been widely available before. Suddenly people had access to things that were beyond the dreams of people just a 100 years prior.

Enter corporations willing to go “oh yeah, you know what’s great (now that you can afford it)? Cold beef soup, served in a glass. Drink up your beef!”

Early 40s/50s foods are something I’m very passionate about.

They had no concept of what flavors tasted good together so they tried everything. The biggest ideas that were latched on to were things like loafs with layers that compose your entire meal and the suspension of basically anything/everything in jello (jello actually helped food last longer, because the gelatin sheltered whatever ingredients were used from bacteria. So, naturally, you put a fish in it).

Also pineapple. It was harder to get before then so the sudden availability of it made people go nuts. Bananas too to a degree.

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of Aspic, otherwise known as meat jello.

jello history is a fucking trip

 i am pretty sure the entire 1940′s was made out of hollandaise and aspic

Son WHAT

That’s…

ignitiondorks:

skullopendra:

gaydaphne:

cloudstreamer:

gayestcheese:

omarnorthtower:

stanford-pines:

okay so theres an episode of whats new scooby doo where the gang goes home on valentines day, and i guess the studio really wanted to avoid the implication that daphne and fred were sleeping together because daphne and velma live together and fred lives with shaggy and scooby 

but that attempt at avoiding anything risque backfired spectacularly because now it just seems like daphne and velma are a comfortably domestic couple and fred is trying to learn how to live with his boyfriends over excitable and really hungry great dane

It’s far cuter like this anyway.

OOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP

CANON

i don’t have a source for this just a gut feeling, but doesn’t everyone in the gang call him “freddie” at some point?

which would imply that the entire gang is poly and dating

If any group in pop culture is poly, it’s definitely the errant kids from the 60s with a groovy hippie van

Coming into a fandom late

itssinwithagrin:

ferainart:

eriplier:

illogicalvoid:

inverted-mind-inc:

sageblackrose95:

jupiter235:

not-so-secret-nerd:

nerdsagainstfandomracism:

my-reylo:

street-of-mercy:

dj-killer:

221books:

valerieparker:

baxtersaurus:

mishstiel:

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Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

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Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

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Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war. 

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Accuracy at its best

Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

all of this shit…lol

When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

This gets better every time I see it. 

@fuboos-mess

Being in a dead fandom…

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

The accuracy hurts.

When you’re in a fandom that got revived for a younger generation:

Omg