normal-horoscopes:
Aries: Try running the ice cream scoop under warm water beforehand. Also, blood comes out with enough soda water.
Taurus: Find enlightenment in draining all the water from your body.
Gemini: One of the walls in your home is very not real. Im sure you have your suspicions as to which one.
Cancer: Show your curiosity to the world by carving a question mark into your forehead with a bread knife.
Leo: The time for peaceful conversation is gone. Break something or be broken.
Virgo: Fear offers comforts that the waking world cannot.
Libra: Its possible to think someone is weird as hell but also let them do their thing. Bathe in the insanity of the world.
Scorpio: We cannot help with some fights. This is not your fault.
Ophiuchus: There is freedom in a slip n slide.
Sagittarius: Your perception skills can be a double edged sword. We are not meant to know some things.
Capricorn: X marks the spot. The spot you should stay very very far away from.
Aquarius: Do not try to be anyone but yourself under penalty of death.
Pisces: Nobody ever admits everything. This is for the best. You do it too.